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Discover 10 Ways for How to Get Over Shyness

Gloria Goodwin's picture
Discover 10 Ways for How to Get Over Shyness

A lot of people are a little bit shy but if you find yourself missing out on life, it's time to do something about your condition. Shyness complicates your life by making you uncomfortable in social situations which prevent you from having the life you deserve.

How to Get Over Shyness

You don't have to suffer from it any longer with these 10 easy ways to get over your shyness.

1. Identify shyness triggers

Is it speaking in front of people that causes you to freeze or is it the fear of how people will react to you? Shyness is rooted in our fear of rejection. We don't want to be shunned or embarrassed in public. Past events like being humiliated in the classroom in elementary school have a debilitating effect on a shy individual. Take a moment to note exactly what it is that causes you to draw back from situations. Keeping a journal and writing down your thoughts helps.

2. Evaluate who you are

Many people claim they're shy because they don't know how to connect with other people, they don't want to be in the limelight, or they feel awkward. These feelings are triggered by a perceived inadequacy of themselves. If you feel the same way, ask yourself why. Looks play an important part on how people perceive you but having crooked teeth, mousy hair, or a lack of sense of style is easily remedied.

3. Accept and turn your weakness to strengths

If you want to successfully get over your shyness, work with your perceived inadequacy. Ask yourself, "Will my crooked teeth really turn people off?" Chances are, people can look beyond your crooked smile and see your personality but if you really are bothered, consult a dentist to enhance your smile. Taking charge of your physical self gives you a sense of control over your life and this translates to more confidence

4. Work with your strengths

Recognize your assets. Do you have flawless skin? Is your hair healthy and shiny? How people perceive themselves is different from how others see them. Most of the time, you don't know how great you look when you only focus on your weaknesses. Knowing that you look good makes you feel good. When you feel good, you become more receptive and open towards people and situations.

5. Affirm your skills

What can you offer the world? Shy people are quiet and stay in a corner thinking people will come to them. Well, life doesn't work that way. You have to go out of your shell, meet people, and have meaningful connections. Put your skills into play. Do you have a green thumb? Are your muffins to die for at family gatherings? Why not bake a batch of muffins and take them to the office? Or give a plant to your neighbour and teach her how to care for it? Our skills add value to who we are. Valuing yourself is a great start in breaking away from shyness.

6. Be spontaneous

Shy people think there is a right moment to approach people or do things but that's not true at all. Life is unpredictable and learning to go with the flow is an advantage. Say yes when officemates invite you to a party. Do something unpredictable even if it's just saying good morning to someone you just met. Offer someone your seat on the bus or share a table with a stranger at a restaurant during lunch hour. Join a club, preferably one where your skills come into play.

7. Develop speaking skills

If you feel you're socially inept, develop skills like how to speak effectively and hold people's attention. If you feel embarrassed when people focus their attention on you, learn techniques on how you can relax in this type of situation. Family and friends are a great help when you're learning new skills to overcome shyness. Run through possible conversations with them if it helps.

8. Posture is everything

Have you noticed how shy people usually have their shoulders hunched up and their arms crossed protectively around them? It's a protective gesture that says "I don't want to get hurt." It also gives out the message that they don't want to be bothered. Studies show that communication is 55 % body language. Hold your head high and your chin up, keep your shoulders thrown back and maintain a relaxed pose. A confident posture projects confidence and actually makes you feel more in control of yourself.

9. Be interested and interesting

When you walk into a room full of people, bear in mind that most feel as you do. They feel unsure, they don't want to be embarrassed, and they want to connect with other people. Start a conversation with a simple "Hello." Most people respond positively and you can go from there. Ask questions like how they're acquainted with the host but don't ask anything personal, religious, or political. When you listen, people respond and you become interesting to them as well.

10. Inject positivity in your life

Once you've started to overcome your shyness by affirming who you are and valuing yourself, you'll still encounter moments when you want to crawl inside your shell. These feelings are normal but you shouldn't wallow in it. Keep going, continue learning, and never be scared of reaching out and meeting people. Remember, everyone has a drop or two of shyness and just needs for someone to make the first move and break the ice. Shyness is characterized by being uncomfortable in social situations but knowing yourself, and what triggers your shyness gives you that push to get out of your comfort zone. The rewards are truly wonderful when you do. New friends, great working relationships, and connecting with the world are just a few perks of overcoming shyness.

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